co-sleeping

While I was pregnant I wasn't super keen on the idea of co-sleeping. I wasn't actually keen on it at all. I had read all the SIDS warnings, heard the stories about 6 year old's refusing to sleep in their own beds because they loved mummy & daddy's bed too much, and I thought I'd be A-OK with bub in her own room. That's all well and good until you've spent most of the night (in the middle of winter) lying on the floor in the nursery because every time you try and put baby in her cradle she wakes up, so you figure if you can lay on the floor and she sleeps there curled up with you, then that's better than a crying baby - right??? Wrong. What's worse than a crying baby is a mumma who hasn't had a decent nights sleep in a long time. Tired mumma is not pretty (and I'm not talking about physically, although that can be the case too). So I got to a point of desperation - I needed sleep. The only way this was going to happen at that stage was if I took Claire to bed with me. I think she was probably about a month old, but don't quote me on that cause those first couple of months are all a bit fuzzy in my memory bank.

When you talk about co-sleeping, you are often prone to receive a label. Concepts such as 'attachment parenting' are thrown around. In our culture co-sleeping is not the norm, but in many parts of the world it is the only option. For us, it wasn't a planned thing, it just kind of happened. To be honest, I actually didn't love it. Because Claire was a June baby, it was the middle of winter. I was so paranoid about not letting the doona get too close to her, that I was usually barely covered by a blanket myself, which wasn't great at that time of year. I also didn't find it terribly comfortable, as once again I was so conscious of her safety in the bed (and her comfort) that I would find myself in a rather contorted position. But yes, it was FAR better than laying on her bedroom floor. I was able to (breast)feed her to sleep, and get a couple of hours sleep myself, and if she stired I could easily resettle her again from where we lay.

It was never going to be a permanent arrangement, and it possibly only lasted a few weeks. When I had taken her to bed with us, it was always my goal to try and get her to sleep and then get her back into her own bed. Didn't always happen, but gradually she got used to the idea and was sleeping in her big-girl cot in her own room by the time she was 10 weeks old (not sleeping all the way through every night by any means though).

Claire's day time sleeps have always been a challenge for us too, with her rarely sleeping for more than a 45 minute cycle at a time. However, I was encouraged lately to try a little harder to get her to take some longer naps (aiming for 1.5 hours 2 times a day). I FINALLY found a way to get this to happen more often - take her for a nap in/on our bed! I snuggle up with her, she falls asleep and will sleep for that 45 minute cycle the wake up. As soon as I hear her I quickly go back into the room and re-snuggle her, give her a bit of a drink, and often (not always) she'll sleep for another 30-45 minutes. This has been such a great development, as it's meant I actually get a bit of time to do stuff during the day. Oh, and while she's sleeping on our bed I put our pillows all around her so she can't roll off, because that would be very NOT fun!

Claire looking all comfy and cute napping on our bed

Co- sleeping, or bed sharing, is something that has been a useful part of our lives. It helped this mumma get some rest in those early newborn days, and works great for us now for the day time sleeps. Will I do it with our next baby some day? Yes, if we have to. I know I won't go out of my way to make it a priority, but as everyone always says: "you gotta do what you gotta do!".

Love,

H. x